Here’s where I think my frustration lies:

For all appearances, it may look like I’ve chosen career over family (or a relationship). I spend my day at the computer and on the phone. I project plan, tell other people what to do, do what other people tell me to do, etc. I am not supporting a husband or raising kids. In fact, I would most likely give a blank stare if asked a question about child behavior or how many ounces are in a cup.

I have not chosen the career path. It is the path that has been chosen for me (for now?). I’m pursuing it because it’s what is in front of me. It’s what I’ve been called to do.

But is the career path something I will just “throw off” as soon as the right guy comes along and the kids show up? I think not. Shouldn’t what I do now comprise of WHO I am? What I was designed to do? I don’t think what God has gifted me to do will completely stop (or be considered irrelevant) when family comes along. Family should be incorporated into what God has called me to do. And what I’ve been called to do will rightly and beautifully fit with what my husband will be called to do. Together we will more effectively do work in God’s Kingdom. Together we will more effectively do what He’s called us to do. But for now, what I’m called to do is better done as a single. And that’s a good thing. It’s exciting.

So I may look like the career woman, the feminist, the “I control my own life and I’m doing with it what I want.” But that is a superficial and incorrect assumption of who I am. I am a woman of God, daughter of the King, serving in His kingdom, doing this job at hand to the best of my ability, until I’m called to the next job. I live not for myself – I was created by Him and for Him and to serve in His kingdom – single or married.

Singleness seems to be a curse or ailment in our current culture. The culture seems to be centered around couples and twos. But what if singleness is not a curse? Or an ailment? What if it is more like an outfit or uniform? Something that is worn for a season for a particular job/task/work and later on exchanged for the outfit of marriage? Later exchanged when we are then better suited for serving God alongside someone else rather than with Him alone.

Carrying this thought further, the outfit doesn’t define us, it is merely ornamental or functional. Our identity is in who we are as a person, not in our outfit; in our personhood, not our relational status. I am kmac if I wear jeans and mud boots or if I wear a skirt and heels (that is not a parallel comparison between singleness and marriage, so don’t even get started down that path).

“kmac, you have work to do for Me, and this work is better done with you being single than with you being married. So get busy, get to work, complete the job at hand and trust Me with the rest. When you complete this task, you’ll be ready for the next. And I’ll supply the perfect outfit for the job to be done.”