Once we realize that Jesus has served us even to the depths of our meagerness, our selfishness, and our sin, nothing we encounter from others will be able to exhaust our determination to serve others for His sake.
Oswald Chambers
Author: kmmccaleb
founded and established
“On the holy mount stands the city he founded…the Most High himself will establish her. ” Psalm 87:1 and 5
Last night while traveling home I had a couple moments of feeling weak and vulnerable. At one point the plane felt like it would be rattled apart by turbulence. Another moment, a wave of tiredness came over me while I waited for the next flight from Dallas to deliver my bag.
I awoke this morning thankful for my own bed, warm sunshine in the window and homemade coffee instead of hotel coffee. In the midst of these earthly comforts, I found myself searching for something Solid and Strong. I “randomly” opened to Psalms 87 and found the words “he founded” and “himself will establish her”. These words are in reference to a city that the Lord builds, but I take comfort them, because this is the character of the God I serve in this challenging season. I know he is also founding and establishing me, all the while he holds planes together and gives me grace while I await a delayed bag at the end of a long day.
#hardfightsoftheart
Today
Today was a good day, and
a hard day. A mixture of the
deeply familiar, the beauty of
the mountain, and the chill
of Winter.
The afternoon was spent trekking
up to the Mountain, God’s Mountain,
me with two nephews in tow, following
the rest of the McGary clan. Mat Kearney
playing, sipping fresh coffee, and heading
up to the place that has my heart.
The past few days have been hard, as
I made one last journey with Mr. Darcy’s
ashes, kept safely with a dear friend these
past few weeks. I cried when she handed
them to me, and I cried again in church,
the anniversary of his diagnosis last year.
I’m thankful for the gift he was,
this beautiful mountain that will be his resting place,
and for faithful friends who have intercepted my
tears and shed their own tears with me.
Bringing him up here, to what will
be his final resting place, brought a measure
of needed closure. It will be spring before we
can bury his ashes, as the ground is already
frozen. But he is safe in the little trailer,
surrounded by the leafless aspens and the place
we call Home.
So in the chill of Winter, I left my faithful
friend up on God’s Mountain, my furry friend
who will always have my heart, in the place
that has my heart. Today was a hard day, but
a good day.
Whisper
Rivets of steel, pounded into
Spanses of metal. Red hot from
Friction and ear-numbing sound. So
Our hearts too oft become.
Persons made and broken by plans
Secured and failed. Icy cold tendrils
Of pity and pence find their way in
Through cracks of blindness and resistance.
An enterprise planned, drawn up, built where
Man and metal combine in partnership of
arrogance and confidence. The four meet in
The docks and commence in crashing waves.
But the whisper of wisdom is ignored, the
Cry of caution displaced by fools ears and
Men’s plans to sail what course he will, of his
Own making.
Oh for steadfast and unwavering foresight
To see the storm and reset the sails. Oh to
See the icy cold path ahead and turn for
Warmer seas. Oh for grace to heed the cry of
Reason when she calls through pounding wind
And determined course.
May our plans and purpose be not
So steeled and fixed that we cannot turn
The mast of our ships to fairer seas where
Grace and wisdom dance together in
The dawning Light.
more than the morning mist
Oh for grace that this would be be true in my life:
Faithfulness to Jesus Christ is the supernatural work of redemption that has been performed in me by the Holy Spirit— “the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit…” And it is that love in me that effectively works through me and comes in contact with everyone I meet. I remain faithful to His name, even though the commonsense view of my life may seemingly deny that, and may appear to be declaring that He has no more power than the morning mist.
from Oswald Chambers, Oct 18 reading
This strange earthly life
This is a strange walk, this earthly life.
One of faith and frailty, fears and
failures. You say we’re spirit,
But all we can see are hands and
Skin and bones. You call us to faith,
And hope in the Unseen.
But all we can sense is the
Seen, the heard, the tasted, and the
Touched. You give us faith, and then call
Us to trust in a future that is eternal and glorious.
But all we can feel in these earthly bodies
Are goodbyes and loss
And sacrifice and missing joy.
You came and conquered. And then left,
Telling us you would one day return. It’s
Been a long time and too many of those
We love have left and gone to you, without a
Word, never to be seen, this side of
Our own death. Yet, you say to have hope.
Hope in the unseen. Dear Lord, we
Are earthly creatures, our physical senses
Far out-pacing the spiritual. You call
Us into the spiritual realm, in surrender,
In faith, and trust and hope. And yet we cannot
See past these hands and skin and bones.
So Lord, have mercy on our skin-bound
Souls, and our weak minds who try to
See the unseen, but are left with a
Sense that all is not as it should
Be or how it will be. Forgive us our
Frailties and our fears. Give us the
Courage to walk like Joshua, in
Hope that what is beyond our sight is true and
More real than all we can see.
5 o’clock
You had my heart the moment I saw your furry little body curled up in Dad’s arms, asleep on the couch. Then when you got so sick and I’d hold you when I came home from work, it sealed the deal. I was your person.
Then you followed your nose one morning and were lost to us for five agonizing days. We finally found you through our lost posters and someone else’s found posters and through our tears of joy we hugged you as you “told” us all about your adventures and your relief at seeing us again.
You’ve been my constant companion through starting a new life in Austin and moving eleven times. Every major transition I’ve made in the last thirteen years, you’ve been the steady friend staying close, keeping watch. You have sat next to me and leaned in when I cried over breakups, failures, and losses.
You ALWAYS wanted to go with me whenever I left the house, and somehow you knew I was getting ready to go, even before I started getting ready. You would stare at me with those piercing brown eyes asking the question every time. If I answered “are you ready?” you joyfully grabbed your leash and pranced out to the truck. If the answer was “you need to stay here”, your head would drop in utter dejection, testing my resolve not to take you. On trips where you couldn’t come, you greeted my returns with the same joy if I’d been gone for ten minutes or a long work trip.
My days with you were predictable: every day at 5 o’clock you would start staring at me, letting me know it was dinner time. Ten pm rolled around and you were staring at me again, asking for your good-night bone (you couldn’t go to sleep without it).
The last eight months with you have been hard, as I’ve watched the curse and death and pain take over your furry body. These days have been a gift, too. I’ve been able to love you and care for you, and take comfort that I’ve loved you the best I possibly could.
You’ve been a gift to me from the Father above. In a few days and with many tears, I’ll hand you back to Him, forever thankful I got to be your mom. I will hand you back, standing in the Promise that someday, somehow He will make all things new and there won’t be any more goodbyes or tears or pain or death. You will always be the Doodlebug, the Mr. Darcy, in my heart and that place will forever be yours, even as our days together come to the end.
Worry
Sitting on a bus back home
I watch the scenery pass. A field
Of round bales, a manufacturing
Plant, the Colorado River, and a
Few cows. They go by quickly, as
The scene changes from big Texas
City to Lone Star countryside.
This morning was busy, between
Customer meetings and calls to the
Vet. The seconds and minutes added
Up, but not as quickly as the items on my
To do list and the thoughts in my head.
This week has been a weird one.
My heart heavy for family, heavy
For friends, and heavy for furry friends.
It seems that worry could easily
Set in and take over any space saved
For prayer and surrender.
Rummaging through old photos last
Night in my hotel room, I came across
One of Jess lifting up a dandelion with
The threads floating off into the bright
background. It struck me that this is how
I want worry to look in my life:
Offering it up to God, watching it flit away
Into the Son’s bright grace.
It’s the offering-up part that is hard. It
Requires that I pick the worry up, lift
It up, and let go of it. This doesn’t just
Happen, but requires exerted effort and
And willingness to do so.
I pray that just as on that bright summer
Day on the mountain, Jess lifted up the
Dandelion to the sky and watched it melt
Away, I would offer up this worry
And watch it melt away with each mile
Adding up on this bus ride home.
what if
What if the reaction of a saint coming home (to Heaven)
is the opposite of our grief and sorrow here (on Earth)?
What if it’s a glorious home-coming, friends-united,
“what-took-you-so-long” kind of celebration?
I Thessalonians 4:13-18 – encourage one another with these words.
She gave
I hurried down the street
Alison Krauss playing through my earbuds
Stresses from customer demands
And company pressures
Tangling my thoughts and joy.
Why does life have to be so hard?
I thought as I walked to pick up
My meal. Nice boots clicking on
The pavement, new skirt swishing
In the breeze.
How am I going to handle this stress?
Can one person meet these
Demands of boss and customer all
In a day? My eyes on my feet and
The questions taking control.
I look up to cross the street and
Our eyes meet. Her cloudy eyes
In a disfigured face, her limp on
A deformed body. Clothes dirty and
Crumpled, hat askew.
She smiled. At me. We were from
Two completely different planets
Passing at the same second, the
Same brick, the same street light.
She smiled. And she gave.
She gave to me a sign of joy. She gave
Warmth on a cold blustery day. She
Gave from her nothing to me who has
Everything and I took. I took her smile
And sealed it in my heart.
A seal to remember that I received from her
Who had nothing to give. A seal to remind
Me that I always have joy and warmth and
And a smile to give, even if the day wears
Me out. I have much to give.
finalite 