Mr. Darcy

Today

/ kmmccaleb / Leave a comment

Today was a good day, and
a hard day. A mixture of the
deeply familiar, the beauty of
the mountain, and the chill
of Winter.

The afternoon was spent trekking
up to the Mountain, God’s Mountain,
me with two nephews in tow, following
the rest of the McGary clan. Mat Kearney
playing, sipping fresh coffee, and heading
up to the place that has my heart.

The past few days have been hard, as
I made one last journey with Mr. Darcy’s
ashes, kept safely with a dear friend these
past few weeks. I cried when she handed
them to me, and I cried again in church,
the anniversary of his diagnosis last year.

I’m thankful for the gift he was,
this beautiful mountain that will be his resting place,
and for faithful friends who have intercepted my
tears and shed their own tears with me.

Bringing him up here, to what will
be his final resting place, brought a measure
of needed closure. It will be spring before we
can bury his ashes, as the ground is already
frozen. But he is safe in the little trailer,
surrounded by the leafless aspens and the place
we call Home.

So in the chill of Winter, I left my faithful
friend up on God’s Mountain, my furry friend
who will always have my heart, in the place
that has my heart. Today was a hard day, but
a good day.

5 o’clock

/ kmmccaleb / 2 Comments
You had my heart the moment I saw your furry little body curled up in Dad’s arms, asleep on the couch. Then when you got so sick and I’d hold you when I came home from work, it sealed the deal. I was your person.
Then you followed your nose one morning and were lost to us for five agonizing days. We finally found you through our lost posters and someone else’s found posters and through our tears of joy we hugged you as you “told” us all about your adventures and your relief at seeing us again.
You’ve been my constant companion through starting a new life in Austin and moving eleven times.  Every major transition I’ve made in the last thirteen years, you’ve been the steady friend staying close, keeping watch. You have sat next to me and leaned in when I cried over breakups, failures, and losses.

You ALWAYS wanted to go with me whenever I left the house, and somehow you knew I was getting ready to go, even before I started getting ready.  You would stare at me with those piercing brown eyes asking the question every time. If I answered “are you ready?” you joyfully grabbed your leash and pranced out to the truck. If the answer was “you need to stay here”, your head would drop in utter dejection, testing my resolve not to take you. On trips where you couldn’t come, you greeted my returns with the same joy if I’d been gone for ten minutes or a long work trip.
My days with you were predictable: every day at 5 o’clock you would start staring at me, letting me know it was dinner time. Ten pm rolled around and you were staring at me again, asking for your good-night bone (you couldn’t go to sleep without it).
The last eight months with you have been hard, as I’ve watched the curse and death and pain take over your furry body. These days have been a gift, too. I’ve been able to love you and care for you, and take comfort that I’ve loved you the best I possibly could.
You’ve been a gift to me from the Father above. In a few days and with many tears, I’ll hand you back to Him, forever thankful I got to be your mom.  I will hand you back, standing in the Promise that someday, somehow He will make all things new and there won’t be any more goodbyes or tears or pain or death. You will always be the Doodlebug, the Mr. Darcy, in my heart and that place will forever be yours, even as our days together come to the end.

Proverbs 12:10 (a)

/ kmmccaleb / 6 Comments

Whoever is righteous has regard for the life of his beast. ~ Proverbs 12:10

I am a little bit of a basket-case this morning and I am working in my office alone, with no Mr. Darcy. He is currently at the vet getting x-rays and measurements for hip surgery next week. I dropped him off this morning and as they took him back, he cheerfully trotted with the vet tech and looked back at me like he was asking if I was coming with him. It’s a good thing no one at the front desk talked to me, since I wouldn’t have been able to talk.

The verse above from Proverbs has comforted me this morning as we prep for a difficult few weeks ahead.

Church in the woods

/ kmmccaleb / 1 Comment

Yesterday, church consisted of a 7 mile hike yesterday with my dog, in the woods, enjoying the exquisite spring weather.

Other weekend activities included:

  • shopping at the camera store (nothing big, just odds and ends)
  • another 4 mile hike with Mr. Darcy
  • movie with an obliging friend (thanks in arrears) (The Vow, can’t say I recommend it; the true story behind the movie is much better than the Hollywood version.)
  • dinner with some pretty cool people
  • catching up on life over morning coffee with a dear friend
  • afternoon ride in the tall green spring grass
  • watched the second Die Hard movie with my roomie.